A year's end

There is a kind of ancient, magical feel to this last day of the year. In Germany it was always referred to by its saint's name, Sylvester. The short days and long nights--but with the knowledge that the shortest day of the year is already past; the cold outside and warm glow of the Christmas lights (still up until at least Epiphany) within; the end of the old and beginning of the new...

It is a time of fresh beginnings and resolutions to improve one's self. It always seems such a daunting task to set out on paper what one hopes to achieve in the coming year. And so often we bite off more than we can chew and by February we are sick of winter and sick of ourselves and our failure to stick to our resolutions. In light of this, I am going to keep my resolutions very simple. Better to make few resolutions and keep them (I hope!) than to make many and fail at most. Here are the ones that come to mind first and foremost:

1) My new schedule for household and school will be structured around times for prayer, however brief, and the children will be included in these with the exception of my early morning and bedtime prayer. I will try to have this schedule worked out by the end of January (this gives me some time to work out the bugs).

2) My husband will not constantly be bumped to the bottom of the list of priorities. It's easy to do; after all, there are all these needy little people around me and Bret can take care of himself pretty well. But we have been passing by one another too often lately and failing to connect. The best thing we can give out kids is to have them see mother and father loving, laughing and interacting with one another (I said this to Bret the other night and he responded by asking, "So we don't lock the door?" Please: Lock the door. )

3) I will try to be more patient and joyful with my children, and when I must discipline, I will try to do so without screaming. That's a tall order, as my boys are rather noisy and rarely hear me unless I scream. And they tend to ignore my pleas for quiet even when they do hear me. But I will try, because my being loud certainly won't make them quiet. I don't know that I can fake patience, but I will try to control my volume at least.

I have other goals, lesser ones. But these first three are for the spiritual and emotional well-being of my family, and any other goals are secondary. The other goals also rely on my coming up with a workable schedule, so really everything depends on this.

Our Lady of the Rosary

Here is a wonderful list of quotes by the saints on the Holy Rosary. Truly, it is a mighty weapon against all evil, and most beloved of Our Lady!

Getting ready for Gemma: Homebirth Supplies

I have been a compulsive list-maker throughout my life, and having a baby is always an excuse to make myriad lists. With about a month or so to go, I am making/reviewing lists left and right, and I thought I might share a few with you. Today I present you with my well-worn Home-birth Supplies List for labor and postpartum.

Labor:
1) 3 mil plastic sheet for bed
2) Labor sheets (Explanation: a week or two before I'm due I make the bed with some nice sheets first, then I cover these with the plastic sheet. Over that I put my "Labor Sheets", which are some dark green thrift shop sheets that have been through my last three births and show no stains. After the birth the midwife strips the labor sheets and tosses them in the washer, throws out the plastic sheet--a painter's disposable dropcloth--and there are the nice fresh sheets for baby and me!
3) Chux pads
4) A dozen cheap washcloths for compresses
5) Crockpot for warming compresses
6) Small bottle of olive oil for lubricant
7) Sterilized bulb syringe in ziplock bag
8) Rice pack to heat in microwave
9) Emergenciy Procedures list (just in case the midwife doesn't make it in time!
10) Bach's Rescue Remedy for transition--I've never used it, as I'm just used to throwing up and getting the shakes for a bit!
11) Trilight Herbs Start Up Formula--in case there's a failure to progress. Again, I haven't needed it.
12) Large bowls--for sickness and placenta
13) "Labor-Aid" or Gatorade
14) Flexible straws
15) Snacks and drinks for kids, Bret, Midwives
16) Homeopathic arnica--to prevent bruising and swelling

Postpartum:
1) 3-5 flannel blankets, sterilized and bagged (for cleaning and swaddling baby)
2) Newborn diapers, outfit, 2 hats--one if it is very stretchy to accommodate any head
3) Sterile cotton navel cord (midwife usually has this or a clamp)
4) Nursing nightgown
5) Gigantic maxi pads
6) Protein shakes--my midwife made me one in the blender postpartum after Gabriel's birth, and nothing ever tasted so good!
7) Ice packs
8) Digital camera and extra charged batteries
9) Phone number list

Other:
1) Co-sleeper with side support
2) Car seat with infant head support
3) Comfy sleeping bra
4) Postpartum abdominal support (I am ordering one for the first time, as after my last birth I suffered worse back pain after the birth than I did during the entire pregnancy)
5) Lanolin for sore nipples
6) Breast pump--for when my cups runneth over--and breastmilk storage bags
7) Boppy pillow
8) bouncy seat
9) Herb Pharm's Women's Health Tonic (for afterpains)
10) Enough disposable diapers for first two weeks.

Assembling this stuff is part of the fun of preparing for a homebirth. I already have almost everything on the list, with only a few things to purchase...

Ninety Years of Wisdom

Thank you, Patrice, for posting this. I'm a list-maker myself, so I always love a good list. And this one has the wisdom of a lifetime behind it. It was written by Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time... time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Nesting

With about two months to go until Gemma makes her debut, I am finally coming into a nesting period. This usually begins with my noticing how unaesthetic my home is. The stains on the carpet look unbearably gross. I suddenly notice the spot behind the toilet where my mop doesn't reach. Every little fingerprint on the doorjambs is repulsive to me. And the clutter in various areas of my home are enough to drive me to despair.

Although I haven't the energy and even less of the organizational genius of my friend, Marilyn, I am trying to make some headway in a few areas, and I will concentrate on these for the next two months.

1) I want to have some kind of a plan in place for the coming school year. Not so much a daily lesson plan as a weekly schedule with some monthly or 6-week goals in mind. I pretty much have all my curriculum for the coming year, now I just need a realistic plan to go with it. Realistic is the operative word here. As with gardening, I always show too much enthusiasm at the beginning of the season, and as time wears on the weeds and mosquitos do me in.

2) I want to write up a post-partum menu plan for a month. I want to include pre-made frozen meals, simple crock-pot meals and a few simple recipes and not-too-unhealthy convenience foods in the plan.

3) I want to tidy up the office and find places for the countless bits of paper. This is really a herculean task, as I must shamefacedly admit that my "filing system" since we moved here and since Gabriel's birth has been an inbox with no outbox. It is the epitome of simplicity--until the time comes that you are searching for that one piece of paper you need!

4) Put various items that are sitting around here up for sale on Craigslist or eBay or Cathswap. It would be nice to get rid of clutter and make a little money at the same time.

5) Clean the oven. Enough said.

6) Some of the fun stuff: wash infant clothes, order diapers and covers and whatnot (I think am going to go with cloth this time around, although I have doubts about the sanity of that decision), make room for the baby in our bedroom, etc.

From where I sit like a slug, devoid of life but for a few vital signs, it seem hopelessly ambitious. Normally it wouldn't seem like much, but I suppose age has a lot to do with it. And really awful varicose veins in my left leg. Luckily I never had great legs, even at 20, so it is only painful, but not much of a blow to my vanity.

It's 8:30. Bedtime. G'night all.

Saturday: productive and exhausting

I awoke on Saturday morning determined to get a lot done. I had a few things I wanted Bret to tackle, too. After my morning prayers and reading I made a long list on my fridge dry-erase board and went to work.

I started a batch of cheese,
fed my sourdough starter,
made beds,
tidied-up the shelf above the changing table,
made breakfast,
put away laundry,
cut up some old apples for Nuala,
picked some tomatoes and brought in eggs,
started ribs for dinner,
planted a bed of salad greens,
showered,
began ironing,
bathed two of the boys,
stuck the cheese in the press,
served dinner,
prayed the rosary with my family,
finished ironing,
took two acetaminophen and collapsed into bed at 8:30.

Bret was busy, too.
He milked the cow,
pulled out all the window screens,
washed all the window screens with Una,
washed the windows,
replaced the window screens,
cleaned the ceiling fans,
repaired fencing around the pasture,
fixed the waterer in the chicken coop,
showered himself and two boys,
prayed rosary with the family,
and collapsed into bed not too long after his wife.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

I have been thinking about some of the things I have of which I am very fond. Not the sentimental stuff, like my photo albums and little things that are very dear to my heart, but practical things I would hate to have to do without. And not completely utilitarian things either, like my refrigerator, which I wouldn't want to do without, but for which I feel no particular fondness. Here are the things that come to mind:

• Our cow, Nuala. Technically, she is not a thing, but I can't very well lump her in with God and my family, so here she is at the top of the list. She is our milk, butter, yogurt, sour cream, beef and hopefully soon, cheese machine. As long as we have her I will feel rich.

• My Wusthof knife set, a wedding gift from my mother nearly 21 years ago. I love these knives. The chef's knife is indispensable to me.

• My KitchenAid mixer. I bought it reconditioned on eBay when we moved here 6 years ago and I was 8 months pregnant. I wanted one powerful enough to knead bread dough, as it is hard to respond to a fussing baby when you are up to your elbows in dough.

• The internet. Ouch. I really hate putting that on this list, but moving to a rural area it has been a blessing. I do almost all my gift shopping online, I buy my vitamins online, I price-check everything to get the best price, I use it as a reference for school subjects and I send out photos of the kids to family. Which brings me to:
  

• My digital camera. I got a fancy Fuji Finepix on eBay to replace my broken camera, and I still haven't learned t use all the features on the dratted thing, but I love having it, and I hope to get better at using it.
  

• My antique dining set. It was my grandparents', so there is some sentimental value to it, but the pieces are also beautiful and functional. Because I can keep almost all of my dishes in the buffet cabinets, I am left with plenty of space in my kitchen cabinets. And the "dutch leaf" table pulls out to accommodate family for holidays.

• The crucifix on my bedroom wall above our family altar. Okay, maybe there is more sentiment here than practicality, but I would hate to be without it. My sister repainted it for me and changed it from a bland, inexpensive catalog piece into beautiful, one-of-a-kind objet d'art. When the light in the bedroom hits our Lord's face just right, one can see a tear beneath his eye.

There may be more, but that is what comes to mind at this time. I'll add to it as things come up.