The first week of school is in itself a week of challenges, like trying to get everyone into something of a routine; trying to squeeze in house cleaning, bill-paying and meal preparations between math with this child and reading with that one; trying to keep the little guys happily occupied while working with the older kids. And we aren't even up to full speed yet, as we haven't even begun the older boys' writing program or Una's French yet. When I think about everything that is not getting done, I feel a rising panic and a sense of helplessness.
It seems that my young children get far more sleep than do I and that they require far less. Gemma can rise at 6:30, go all day without a nap, and still be keeping me awake at 10:00 pm. Or she'll just wake up every bleedin' 90 minutes throughout the night. Or Adrian will wake me on account of a phantom pain or unpleasant dream at 3:30 a.m., and I will find myself unable to get back to sleep--until 10 minutes before the alarm goes off.
I am normally very much a morning person, usually quite wide awake before even my first sip of "half-caff" coffee. But this morning I was staggering about like a drunk, narrowly missing doorways and having things drop from my hands. When I closed my eyes, I felt as if I was drifting on a tumultuous sea, everything in motion. It was very much the type of exhaustion that would make driving or using heavy equipment a real danger. I don't know that I would trust myself with a toaster today, honestly.
Well, I have made it through this day's schooling, and I have not fallen asleep standing at the sink washing dishes. I avoided that near occasion of sin while making my bed and did not crawl back into it. I have gotten something of a second wind, and I hope it will carry me along until tonight, and God willing, maybe I will be granted one night of uninterrupted sleep for a good 6 or 7 hours. Unlikely, but one can hope...