Thursday, June 26, 2008
From the "Wishful Thinking" files...
I have long desired one of these TVGuardian things. They seem a miraculous thing to me. I don't know how many times I've rented a video or dvd of some movie I saw many years ago in my childless days and thought, "Now there's a nice movie for the kids," only to be mortified upon watching it, hoping that the unfamiliar "colorful" language will go over the kids' heads or lurching for the remote in order to fast-forward through the close-up of a couple playing tonsil-hockey I'd forgotten all about. I do try to check things out these days on one of the family-friendly review sites, especially having made so many blunders in the past. In any case, the device is not compatible with our home entertainment system, which consists of a TV with a 13" screen and built-in VCR, connected to a $30 dvd player from a discount store.
Anyway, I was on the phone with my sister this morning, walking a circuit from room to room as always in a feeble attempt to avoid the screaming and whining of all the short, angry, demanding little people who suddenly appear whenever I pick up a telephone. It suddenly dawned on me that what I need is the MommyGuardian. With the flip of a switch it will instantly filter out all whining and screaming unless bloodshed is involved. You know what that would mean?
Yessiree, this house would become a haven of quiet, comparable to the Grande Chartreuse--if you'd overlook the toys scattered about and the sticky juice spots on the kitchen floor. It would be like naptime all the time!
Hm. And maybe there could even be a setting for Incomprehensible Toddler Chatter...