Just a bunch of randomness this morning, as I can't really seem to get my act together.
This weekend...was up and down. I spent a good part of Saturday doing what I hadn't intended, which was cleaning up in my workroom. I had the boys bring stuff out to Bret's shop (items that required repair) and take a bunch of paper and cardboard out to the burn-pile. Then I took Gemma's Pack 'N' Play out of my room to put up in the attic space until we have our eventual moving sale. She was getting too big to continue napping in it, and now she naps on my bed in my room. My bedroom and the workroom now appear much larger. And it has given me a real zeal for de-cluttering. I think this Lent our house is going to grow a bit lighter.
It was good to go to confession on Sunday. I hadn't been in 3 weeks, and I rarely go for more than two without the sacrament. Dominic was acting horrid during Mass and had to forego his doughnut, but at least he now knows that I mean business when I tell him to behave or else!
"I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread..." Yes, I am reading The Fellowship of the Ring right now, but the quote seems to apply well to me, although whether for Bilbo Baggins the words carry the same meaning as for me, I cannot say. I do know that I feel that in wearing so many hats--wife, mother, teacher, cook, housekeeper, bookkeeper, shop keeper, dairy maid, and so forth, that I am able to do nothing very competently. My efforts are spread over too much area, and as a result, I do a great many things and almost all of them poorly. I feel I am not teaching effectively, keeping house well, making good enough meals or reading enough to the little ones. I am not teaching my kids much about art, music, nature or history. We do a bit here and a bit there, but too little for much at all to be absorbed. I feel rather old and tired.
Some plans for this week: I did manage to finish the secret birthday project for Adrian yesterday. I still have one more thing I want to make for him, but it is a comparatively easy sewing project and I ought to be able to complete it in a little stolen time this evening (if I put on Star Wars, I am pretty certain he will not come looking for me). Dominic has an ENT appointment tomorrow and we may all go into town to check out the thrift stores. Gemma is once again running out of clothing to wear. I think she has two long-sleeved shirts that fit her. She could use some more pants, but I might look at what I have in fabric and see if I can whip up a couple of pairs. All the boys can use a trim this week, and yes, I am usually the barber, too! I will finish some butter this afternoon, and hopefully bake bread on Thursday. We are thinking of celebrating Adrian's birthday on Saturday, which means that I will probably be baking a cake on Friday, as well as wrapping presents.
Special prayer intentions for this week: For my friends Cindy and Dale, who will celebrate their 26th wedding anniversary tomorrow! For my nephew, Matthew, who has been having such problems lately, and for my dad, who last week fell during a dizzy spell and broke two ribs. I am also praying for Judith, who after getting through breast cancer has been diagnosed with lung cancer. I did not see her at Mass on Sunday, and I am praying that she is alright. And I am praying very hard for peace in this house. I sometimes feel that I am a zookeeper rather than a parent, and that all the animals are wild. If it was only happy, rambunctious play I could handle it, but there is so much bickering, tattling, whining, fighting and vengeance that I am just about beside myself for a solution. They have had privileges revoked, punishments implemented and rewards for good behavior promised. I really can't see any improvement so far...and I must add a disclaimer: the girls cause me very little trouble. My boys are the savages of this household.
When I have finished this post, I will wake Gemma from her nap and we will all spend a bit of time outside in the bright sunshine. I am hoping to get out for an hour, and that they can be out for several. We will all be better for it.
Something that make me smile: geese coming in for a landing on the pond; Dominic asking my dad, "Do you have any kids?"; being able to see the top of my workbench!
Hope you have a blessed week!
I think most women reading this can relate to feeling like we have too many hats to wear. I also think most of us feel we are not doing things as well as we would like.
ReplyDeleteI have often said happy noise is one thing, fighting is another. In our home, it is the girls. Probably because John's brothers are young adults now, so it's the girls who get into it with each other. John is the easy one at this point.
I will update your dad's condition on the prayer vine. Peace and love, Annita +JMJ+
Hi Nadja, I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I'm enjoying checking in and hearing what life is like for you on your farm - with 7 kids! I want to tell you how amazed I am when I hear all that you do! You are very creative and hard-working and it is very inspiring. I hope that you're able to take a minute or two to really take in all that you do and to be very proud - my hat goes off to you =) Wishing you a great week.
ReplyDeleteKaren
HiNadja, My name is Katie, and I've been reading your blog for a while now, but haven't commented (think I found it through Pondered in my Heart) but I wanted reassure you you're not alone in combatting the bickering, We have six (four girls, two boys) and some (most days) I feel like a referee.:-))I'm sure God is working on my patience and fortitude, but take heart, and thank you for sharing. We're hoping to move soon to a more rural area, and your writing has so often inspired me (esp. in the area of creativity.) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSomedays, I just need to know that other Moms have these issues, too. It's nice to know that other people don't have perfect families like I find myself unjustly comparing myself to their Sunday best and our not always Sunday best.
ReplyDeleteDeep Breath. Say the Hail Mary. Do the BEST YOU CAN!