Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Some of you may have noticed that my blogging has been a bit spotty lately. I've been having a little trouble keeping all the balls in the air, and my juggling act has just fallen apart--balls bouncing in every direction, it seems. I am trying to prioritize, with baby and school coming first, then cooking and housework, but things are just not getting done. I do delegate certain chores to the older kids (not easy--Una is the only one who doesn't make a long face when I ask for help), but there is so much--mending, ironing, banking, holiday purchases and plans--that they cannot do.

Yesterday Gemma went to the doctor for a check-up. Just in time for the checkup, she developed a puffy, red, teary eye. I can tell it bothers her, as she squints to open her good eye and tries to keep them both closed most of the time. Anyway, at the appointment it was noted that she is very light for her age and not really up to where she ought to be physically at 14 weeks. She is not rolling over yet or holding herself up on her elbows yet.

I am wondering if it is a nursing issue. Between the stress and the lack of sleep (6 hours or less a night due to insomnia on most nights), I don't know if I am producing what she needs. Which of course adds to the stress and insomnia. So I think a call to my midwife, and to an acquaintance who is a lactation consultant may be in order.

After the two hours at the doctor, we went to buy a new fridge. Ours was in need of repair again, and we decided that we couldn't sink any more money into a 10 year-old fridge. So, off to spend nearly three times the Christmas budget. Last year it was my oven that went right before Christmas!

Say a prayer for me and for Gemma! So often in the past God has been good enough to answer the prayers of my friends and family and give me enormous strength in the midst of really trying situations. I know it came from Him, as I am not by nature so strong. I believe that at some point He will lift me up out of this blue funk and get me going.


  1. I am sorry you are so bogged down. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
    Elizabeth D.

  2. Thanks, Elizabeth--Just say an "Ave" for me, and I'll pray for you and yours, too!

  3. Praying for you! (and Gemma) I know those times....all too often. But it will start clicking again soon, hang in there. And I don't know why but appliances always go out during the holidays.....

  4. Oh Nadja, I know exactly how you feel. But I'm guessing you're a way better juggler than you think you are. You are always in my prayers. Hang in there, friend.

  5. May God bless you and keep you during this hard time your going through. I will definitely keep you in my prayers and offer up my day for you.

  6. I am your age and have seven children ranging from 15 months to 22 years! (Plus, six little babies born into heaven.) The insomnia could be from stress... maybe even hormones (thinking of your age). I have not had a chance to explore your blog as much as I would like, but are you
    "sharing sleep" with your baby? She could just latch on during the night as often as she needs, and you could sleep through the nursings, stirring only to help her latch on if need be. I do not know if this is helpful, but babies who are failing to thrive will often benefit greatly from sharing sleep with their mama. Make sure you are eating well, too! You are in my prayers! JMJ

  7. Thanks, all!
    And Annita, I do sleep with Gemma. I actually sleep better if she is in her co-sleeper in between feedings, but that doesn't always happen!

  8. I'm sorry you are struggling. I'll be praying for you and your family.

  9. My husband and I will add you and your family to our Rosary tonight!

    Hope you're enjoying your new fridge :).

  10. The fridge is new--which means I got out of an overdue fridge-cleaning!

  11. Dear Nadja - I have been praying for you all day. I hope you are feeling less stressed (btw I love your stressed cartoon picture above!)

    I am praying for Gemma - as the mama of lightweights - some not even on the charts - my advice to you is that if Gemma is contented do not worry about her weight. Also about her delay in doing certain things - unless your mama instinct is telling you that something is really wrong. Praying for precious girl's eyes to be well soon.

    I so understand the appliance thing. We had to do the oven as it died in July. Our dishwasher is hanging on with lots of tape! Our fridge is not that old - but it has died the same week each of the last 2 babies was born - thankfully we were under warranty. But now the warranty is too expensive...

    Just praying for you to feel more peaceful.

    Hugs my friend


  12. Prayers, Nadja! God is good...He will provide for every insufficiency. May your days and nights be blessed with His peace...

  13. Nadja, I hope I did not sound insensitive when I used the phrase "failure to thrive". I did not mean to imply that there is anything wrong with your baby! You seem to be petite yourself. I am sure little Gemma is perfect, especially with attentive parents.

    I also understand the appliance issues. We very recently had to replace our refrigerator and dishwasher and this very week had a $2,100 plumbing problem that had to be fixed very quickly!

    Again, I hope I was not thoughtless... I did not mean to use the phrase lightly! God bless

  14. Oh, Annita! No offense taken whatsoever. I actually think that this is a nursing issue. I've never had trouble before, so it came unexpectedly. Am taking measures to fix it and will hopefully blog about it if I can find a moment to spare!

  15. I pray God will help you soon with all. It is hard to split oneself up like you have to do.

  16. you have an awful lot on your plate to be juggling any balls, mama. the blogging one is probably not the first i'd drop though. just 'cause it sort of keeps me sane. i'd go out on a limb and do something crazy like stop sorting the laundry in an ocd manner. and i might even wash reds and blacks together...so glad you are reaching out for prayers. i'd be there in an instant if i wasn't so far away. i might ask you for some fresh milk though because my kids are drinking us out of house and home. i have to buy soymilk because they won't touch it and i hate waking to find there is no milk for my tea!
    so, will pray for you tonight. and baby gemma. insomnia is so detrimental to your health. i know because i suffer from it too. then i feel on the edge of disaster and somehow my body knows and so i try to get to bed earlier. it seems the later i stay up the worse it gets. tired to the point of no return i call it. it is a mother's lot.
    God is good. He will hold you up. as you said, He always does!

    hugs. hugs. hugs.


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