My poor Sebastian. I knew this would happen at some time, and the time was today. He was out with the BB gun this morning and took a shot at a bird, never dreaming that he would actually hit it, as it was far off and he wasn't taking very careful aim. Nevertheless, he hit it in the neck and killed it. He came to me in tears of remorse and helplessness, not really knowing what to do. I suggested a burial, and that is what took place. The little bird is now interred beside Snowdrop, the bunny we lost recently.
The guilt of causing the death of a creature is so hard to bear. I recall so clearly living in our run-down apartment in NYC when I was about 7 or so, just before we moved to Germany. A butterfly managed to find its way in through the window by the fire escape, and I managed to catch it in a plastic yogurt cup. I moved the cover to take a peek, and when it tried to escape, I quickly replaced the cover, accidentally squashing the butterfly. I remember how inconsolable I was...here was this colorful little creature that came into my otherwise fairly drab existence, and I killed it. I still feel the stab of pain in my heart and stomach when I think of it.