I have not been to Mass since the first Sunday of Lent. I have not set foot inside a church since the second Friday of Lent. Every weekend of Lent it seems that someone is ill and I stay home.
Yesterday was a beautiful day, and a busy one. I finished the sweater for my niece and wrapped it up, baked and decorated a cake for her baptismal celebration to be held today, baked cookie bars, showered, bathed Gemma, gave Sebastian a haircut. The sky was clear and the day mild and breezy. All the kids were well (Una had a back and head were aching, but she is prone to sinus problems). We went to bed early in anticipation of going to the early Mass in Glasgow, about 50 minutes away.
The sweater I finished for Mariana
Mariana's baptismal cake
Gemma woke up 15 minutes after I went to sleep. And she wouldn't go back down. She would doze off in my arms, but every time I put her down she would awaken and cry. This went on until 1:30, when I finally extricated my arm from under her head and went to sleep out on the sofa. She slept until 2:10. When I went to check on her, she was warm, and I took her temperature: 101 degrees. Here we go again.
I would much rather be missing Mass because I am sick, rather than one of my children. Perhaps the Lord finds it necessary to mortify me because I have done poorly with self-mortification this Lent. In any case, I am past the anger, past the tears of frustration, past even exhaustion as I sit here with 2 hours of sleep to my credit. I am resigned. I surrender, Lord. You have my "fiat". Let it be done to me according to Thy word.
And if it is all the same to you, Lord, I would really like for my family to be able to make it, as a family, to Mass on Easter Sunday...